For those of you that don’t know me, my name is Rachel Harrington and I am the daughter of Dorothy Harrington, who recently passed away. Anyway, despite my mum's death something amazing has happened to me in the past few months, which I'm so excited to share with you all. I have been completely healed from over 10 years of chronic depression and low self-esteem.
 
I started suffering from depression when I was about 14. Back then I was a very shy girl and found it hard to make friends and fit in. At school I was a bit of a loner and spent a lot of time on my own. As I moved up to sixth form, my confidence went downhill and I felt completely out of my depth.
 
I had always come to church, despite the fact I wasn’t a Christian at the time, but I never enjoyed it and used to find the services boring. I rarely spoke to anyone because I felt awkward around people. When I was 16/17 I started getting involved in church more to meet people. However, being so shy and negative didn’t make it easy for me to connect with people.
 
I went to Manchester Metropolitan University in 2001 to study Geography. I hated university and was homesick constantly. I spent most of my time in my room and felt awkward and uncomfortable around the other students. I was depressed a lot of the time and occasionally had suicidal thoughts. I hardly ever went out partying and most weekends I came home. I joined the CU (Christian Union) and managed to make some friends and had a few good nights out with them. 
 
In 2002 I transferred to Coventry University. The depression and low self-esteem continued making it difficult for me to concentrate on my work, which suffered during this time. My motivation was almost zero and I felt I wasn’t good enough to be at Uni and was destined to be a failure. Sheer determination got me through it and after about 5 years I finally graduated in November 2006 with a BA in Geography.
 
Depression is an awful thing to go through. It's like a huge weight on your shoulders, weighing you down. You feel engulfed by negative thoughts. It seems there is no way out of the cycle of negativity and that’s when you start thinking of suicide as a way out. The worst thing is the hopelessness and isolation you feel and that you don’t have a future. Life just seems bleak and sometimes it feels like there is nothing to wake up for. I'd comfort-eat in order to cope.
 
In the last 6 months my mum was very ill, and the cancer had really taken hold of her. The few weeks before she died I was feeling very low. I had enough and the week before went to the doctors and he prescribed me Prozac. Saturday the 13th October 2007 (the day before she died) I felt like I'd hit rock bottom and felt suicidal. That afternoon Sheena and Elaine from church came to see us for an hour. They prayed with us and at the end I asked Sheena for God to take away my depression. I saw my mum for what would be the last time that evening. Later on, I can't describe it, but I felt really positive, like everything was going to be ok. 
 
The next day came and we found out mum had gone to be with the Lord. I felt numb but didn’t sink into depression like I thought I would. Amazingly I have not felt depressed once since that Saturday evening despite the circumstances. It is a total answer to prayer I know it is!! I know my mum would be happy as she used to hate seeing me so upset. I've even stopped taking the Prozac now.
 
Now my life has completely changed. The shyness and awkwardness has gone, my confidence has risen and continues to rise. I am happy now and have enthusiasm for the first time in my life!!! I'm always smiling and I chat to people a lot more now. My social life is improving and I now feel confident enough to apply for higher-level jobs within Coventry City Council where I work in admin. 
 
I now enjoy coming to Kings and love talking to people at the end. I'm going to do an Alpha Course after Christmas, which I'm looking forward to. Anyway I just wanted to say to anyone out there that might be going through depression or feel like their life is consumed by negativity, things can get better and there is always hope!! 
 
Thanks for reading.
 
Rachel